Golf...Chasing the Dream....

Thing is:
Uncle Donnie has been working way too much lately. It's like my job is
interfering with my leisure time- and Uncle D really loves his leisure time, you
know what I mean?

My golf game? Fugettaboutit. What golf game? I mean, me and Takashi (he
ain't no Fugazi) Woods haven't even sniffed a golf course in weeks! Six weeks, to be exact. It's-a no good, paisan. Whaddya gonna do?
I mean, I got the Golf channel on cable and I watch it all the time, but it's not the same! You can't smell the cigar smoke,or the aroma of empty beer cans in the back of the cart, and I really miss the taste of that occasional chilidog after the first nine holes. You know, when you make the turn and head for the clubhouse to replenish the 12-pack of suds for the next nine, and you just gotta grab that chilidog? You'se can hear it calling, "Donnie....Uncle Doooonnie! Bet you can't eat just one, Donnie!!"
Enough already, so you tell the cute little waitress that the second one's for your buddy,and you're on your way! On your way alright, straight to the ER to have your stomach pumped is more like it! It's all good though,you're gonna have that cheesecake later that your trophy wife Betty made for you the night before, you get my meaning?
Really though, we play golf purely for the exercise!..."You lying sack of shrimp!!!..."
.....I mean, merely for the fellowship and the competitive camaraderie...."What have you been smoking, Donnie?"
Ok, ok, it's really about gettin' that good buzz on early so's you can
chase the little woman around the house for awhile- hopin' she'll let you catch
her just before your daughter gets home from working at the pizza joint that evening. Yeahh baby!

Donnie

P.S.
You gotta remember to not have onions on that chilidog, or the chase is off for good.
Capisci?