When Uncle Donnie was just a bambino and not to familiar with human communication(makes
you wonder about non-human communication, doesn't it?) he was used to words like kepitch....
"hey could you pass the kepitch, I need it for my hangaber". Just figured that everybody put
kepitch on their hangeber, know what I mean? My mom would often open up a can of Franco-
American busgetti and we would eat it with peanut butter toast....I can still taste it after all those
years. Ocassionally she would make us busgetti and meatballs...we ate it, you know what I mean?
If any of us kids got sick we were accustomed to hear this diagnosis, "Oh my, you gotta bad
case of rectopupilitis", better get you to the Dr. quick! To this day that term makes me sick and
laugh at the same time. They(my parents) often told us not to worry about the dog licking us in
the face, because as everyone knows a dogs mouth is cleaner than a human mouth. Which always
bothered me coz I would often see our dog lick himself, lick his own vomit, lick other dogs, lick
other animals poop, lick anything vile and repugnant! That dogs mouth shoulda been quarantined,
capisci, mi! For all I knew the dog had rectopupilitis and thats why all the unholy licking, right?
Don't let that dog lick you! He might have rectopupilitis! Then you'll get it and start licking
things that you shouldn't be licking. Hey sonny whats wrong with your dog there? Don't worry
Mister, he's just a poop licking sufferer of rectopupilitis!
Whattayagonnado, is there any wonder why Uncle D. ended up being a few fries short of a
happy meal?
Later,
Don
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