Kid Gazelle and the P.R.O.P.

So today at work The Kid says to me, "you really should become a coffee drinker",
I reply, "no thanks,I'm not really interested in coffee...never have been, never will be!"
Did Uncle D. ever tell you about The Kid? He's the kid who works for me. The second son of my good friend, the rarely innebriated Takashi (he ain't no fugazi) Woods,co-champion canasta player,and part-time landscape genius! Anyways, his kid, The Kid, who should probably be working for the ATC, that is alcohol,tobacco and coffee, thinks that Uncle Donnie should change his status from non-coffee guy to pro-coffee guy, which ain't never gonna happen until Starbucks freezes over (if you get my meaning)which will be a while, I'm guessing. So, The Kid, whose last name let's say is Gazelle, reminds me of the name changes one has to go through when entering the witness protection program....New life, new job, new city and state,
and new name, you know what I mean?
Where was I? Oh yeah, so The Kid Gazelle,a real coffee snob, says "I need you to stop by a coffee house on the way home from work, so I can get a cup of coffee, and maybe another stop at a covenience store to get a pack
of smokes." To which I replied, "Sure 'ting, Mr. Gazelle, anything I can do to make you happy!"...Yeah,right! Now remember this also: Uncle Donnie is not overly fond
of being downtown in The People's Republic of Portland, a town whose motto is "let's
keep Portland weird", where the men are men and so are the women, where beer is supreme and so is the beer.(You gotta think about that one for a while). Anyways, after work we stop,park illegally and wait For The Kid to satisfy his cravings, which he does, and then we head for home. On our way, The Kid says that he's having a really good cup of C., with four shots and a little cream, to which I reply, "Take off the top of the cup and I will try it", I guess I was tired or curious, or just plain dumb thinking that four shots of anyting might be really good.I was probably imagining that four shots of J.D. with a little coca cola might hit the spot real nicely. I taste it, it tastes like coffee, I don't like coffee,game over. I think what it lacked was a couple shots of bourbon. If coffee tasted anything like bourbon, Uncle Donnie just might change his mind!

Ciao,
Uncle Donnie