The Texorcist and the Church of Pat Benatar

Uncle Donnie notices things.
Like when he's driving down the road, he notices the person almost running him off the road is usually very busy talking or texting on the phone.
Sometimes they're finishing up their make-up, sometimes they're actually reading a book,or putting the last touches on that croissant they purchased earlier from the local deli...You know what I mean? It makes D. think that what we really need is a Texorcist: someone who can help these poor folks rid themselves of those demons that are hellbent to send Uncle D. to the ICU. Someone with the authority to do some necessary texorcisms,healings... That type of expert intervention that would really help some of these wayward drivers!
Maybe even the laying on of hands and anointing with some thirty-weight motor oil would help. The Good Lord knows Uncle D. would've liked to have gotten his hands on a couple of these poor drivers(read: losers). Whaddya gonna do?

Speaking of the Good Lord, do you think Jesus ever reads some of the signs His Church
uses for advertisement? If He does read them, I wonder what He thinks? Does Jesus
laugh or does He get embarrassed and just shake his Divine Head saying,"As you can see, I spoil my children",(read: Don Vito to Virgil Solozzo, The Godfather)...D. wonders!
Anyways, here are some that Uncle D. has seen.....
"Autumn Leaves Jesus Doesn't...."
"The Church is made up of three types of people: true believers, unbelievers, and
make believers..."
"We're not Dairy Queen, but we have great Sundays!...."
"Seven Days Without Church Makes One Weak...."
"Jesus Is A Soul Man...."
"WWJD".... We Want Jack Daniels!...Oops, I mean "What Would Jesus Do?"...
"Christians Aren't Perfect, We're Just Disobedient..."
and finally, for those who prefer the Church of Pat Benatar, "You're a heartbreaker,
dream-maker, love taker......"
A dopo,
Donnie