Uncle Donnie's Views from Under the Bus

Hi. I'm Uncle Donnie. My family throws me under the bus regularly. I've decided to prove them all right.

These are my views, opinions and dogma. They don't represent the views of anyone but me. Whaddya gonna do? Leave the gun, take the cannoli. Lean back, drink some chianti, and enjoy my views from under the bus.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Have You Ever Wondered?

Have you ever wondered why the lady who works at the Home Depot at the contractor check-out
always looks like she's about ready to commit suicide?  I mean it's really sad to see this little female
person mope around and never smile. I try to smile at her, but to no avail, and before long I'm
gettin suicidal thoughts myself and have to get outta there pronto, you know what I mean? She hands
me my receipt and circles some website number and says to me,"fill out this survey so I can keep
my job."Well, Merry Christmas(which is British for Feliz Navitad) to you too, right?
Have you ever wondered why the guy on the radio says,"listen to the Oldies, so you can stay younger."
Does that make any sense? Not to Uncle Donnie!
So, the Kid asks me today,"why do we get bellybutton lint"? Have you ever wondered why guys get
bellybutton lint and girls don't? I says to the Kid, "thanks for asking, but thats a little beyond my
skill-set. Marone, he always asks me the tough ones!
Have you ever known a male lactation expert? I know its a loaded question, but really, does such a
thing exist? Or have you ever wondered why there are so many Oriental doctors, or that very few
crooks become lawyers, but many, many lawyers become crooks?
I mean sometimes I wonder.
Do You?

In bocca al lupo(Good Luck)
Uncle Donnie

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