Putin Or Providence

Hello My Friends,
  Just a couple of things have been bumping around in my head;
Uncle Donnie is about as far as the east is from the west when it comes to
leftist ideology! Hey I'm no rocket surgeon but those on the left seem a bit
dangerous to me!  I am sure that those on the right are equally scary to my leftist friends.
I look at the media, the Dems, and many of our institutions  and  wonder.........
And this thing about Putin and our election, come on!
Fake news, lie tellin, mud slingin. enough already. If all you got is
grapes and they are sour grapes, leave me the hell alone.
To me we got two options; Putin or Providence. I choose Providence.
Now I know my leftist friends despise Providence, and that leaves them
with Putin. O.k., I get it  your stupid, and that's that. Stupid is what stupid does,
You know what I mean?
So I think your stupid and you think I'm stupid, justa coupla stupidos right?
I'm not offended at all, after all we still gotta work together sometimes!
Am I right?  Of  course I'm right!

Ciao,
Uncle Donnie

Holiday Hits

How you doin,

  Here are a few holiday gems to consider:
Whats up with Christmas music playin the day after Halloween....stop it!
I hate the mall!
The friggin tree won't fit in the friggin stand!
Stop with the Family Christmas newsletters already!
Enough with the gifts and the parties and the self preoccupation!
Yet, there is never enough bourbon!
And who gives a crap about Donner and Blitzen or those
seven swimming swans!  Really!
Give me Santa Cruz over Santa Claus any day!
Oh My Gosh My Golly, it's time for michelobe and Stoli!
What part of just browsing don't you understand!
This is just ho-ho-horrible!
Jingle bells Santa smells he fell of his sleigh,
Oh what fun Did Santa have with all that pink champagne
When I sing no one listens,
Some things wrong some things missing,
I can't hit a note, I sound like a goat,
Walking in a winter wonderland!

Buon Natale,
Uncle Donnie

Time Has Come Today

HiYa Pallies,

Gonna get right to it on account of  Uncle Donnie is on
borrowed time, you know what I mean?
Time takes time , you just can't rush time,right.  Time needs to
work itself out  to figure out if its the best of times or the worst
of times. Time will tell! Am I  right?  Of course I'm right!
This is why I'm taking the time to tell what I thought of  our recent
presidential candidates during the last primary season.

Cruz....Crafty Republican Uber Zealot

Trump....Temporarily Republican Until Making President

Sanders...Sadly Another National Democrat Espousing Socialism

Clinton...Crazy Leftist Idealogue Neglecting Trust Of Nation

Time has come today....The Chambers Brothers (look it up).

Tiamo,
Uncle D.

Havin Some Fun

Hey,
  Uncle D. is on the loose, you know what I mean?
Knob Creek and ginger ale, with a splash, and just a splash of
Hazelnut schnapps does the trick. I drink them right! like I wouldn't
drink them....impossible!
So my old friend, Takashi, he aint no fugazi Woods, was trying to explain
to us the difference between self-deprecating and self-defecating.
We were playing cards, having a few drinks and having some fun, you oughta
try this ting called fun. Fun is good mi amici! Go have some! That the fun
you have may really be fun is my wish for you!
Did I mention who makes the best Old Fashioned?  No! Some other time then!
So we wait for Takashi to explain, and with a smile on his face he declares
there is no difference! Throwing crap on yourself  is both deprecating and defecating!
What could Uncle Donnie say? Fuhgettaboudit, the man is a genius!
We laughed!
Why?
Coz we was havin some fun!

Finalmente(so long)

D.

Don Whats His Name

Amici,
It is me, Don What's His Name; I'm back! It is me,for your service,
Uncle Donnie. Mi chiamo Donnie!
On my end all is good, may your end be as mine, botta bip botta boop,
if you know what I mean? Sinatra sang, That's Life, flyin high in April,
shot down in May. But I won't let it get me done, coz this world keeps spinnin round!
Things haven't changed much; hanging out with the same pallies, eating the same food and
pounding the same old drinks.....That's Life!
Just the other day my trophy wife Betty made a dish, Whatta Dish my wife is by the way,
she made Ziti Al Forno, baked Ziti! Do I have to tell you how delicioso it was?
Do I have to tell you how perfect the pasta was, how perfect the sauce, the cheeses, the spices?
It, says Uncle Donnie wassa so good ! We ate it, capisce!
On another note, I have been thinking lately how many Pastors I have known
who remind me of certain celebrities. Striking was the resemblance to Jerry Garcia was a guy who
was my Pastor for almost twenty years. Greatful Dead right? Lets just call him Dennis!
For the past three years our Pastor looked just like the guy from The Longest Yard, Burt Reynolds!
Deliverance right? Lets call him Mark! This next guy I swear to you reminds me of Michael Keaton!
Only been attending his church  for a month or so but every time I see this guy I'm thinkin
Mr. Mom or Johnny Dangerously. Its like I been goin to church at Graumans Chinese Theatre,
you know what I mean? We'll just refer to Him as Jeff.
Forty years ago Betty and I were married by a preacher who was the spittin image of Abraham
Lincoln. This guy, Dave. was a lot better volleyball player than Old Honest Abe was.
I guess he had that going for him!
All this writing is making me tired. It's probably time to hit the old fart sack(read go to bed)!

Sweet Dreams
Uncle D.

POPCORN REFILLS $3.00

Hey! How you doin?
 Are you as happy as I am that the Olympics are over?
What a waste of time, you know what I mean? My trophy wife
Betty and I watched maybe an hour of the whole thing, and I can't
even remember what events we watched. Getting poked in the eye with a sharp
stick woulda been more enjoyable than seeing anything from Russia!
I know it sounds like Uncle D. is bustin some balls here, but whats gotta be done,
has gotta be done. I mean I didn't make the rules, but I gotta enforce the rules.
I'm sure you unnastand.
On another note we went to the movies the other day. It was the new Costner
film, I can't even remember the title, Three days til something or other, I dunno.
The point is I noticed a sign in the lobby that said ....Popcorn refills $3.00!
I'm thinking, they charge about $8.00 for a bag of this stuff, and now to refill it is
another $3! Really, are you kiddin? Whatta racket this is! And I should know, right?
About rackets that is. I am convinced that the only reason they have
these theaters, right, is to sell popcorn and those $6.00 sodas. I run the numbers
in my head an figure that they could make more money if they let you in for free
and sell everyone who comes in these concessions at their current prices.
I love this country!
Your Welcome,
D.

R E F R E S H M E N T

Hi Ya Pallies,
Just got back from Scottsdale, down in the sun for awhile.
Went there with Mr. and Mrs. Woods and a coupla their  people.
Hadda great time. Got introduced to what they call a Tropical
Lemonade. Fuhggetaboudit, it was quite refreshing, and that's what
you need, when you need it, refreshment! The next time you need it,
get refreshed, Uncle D. really likes that word refreshment. Say it
with me ......r e f r e s h m e n t!
We also played a lot of cards down there. Did you ever notice that
vacation cards are always better than regular cards, just sayin.
Went to church down there and food carts were doin their thing
right on Church ground. It was like right after you get baptized you
go from the tank to get a corn dog or slice of pizza or something, you
know what I mean?
The weather was perfect, low to mid 70's, now I'm the weatherman
now, right? Swimmin, hottubbin, relaxin, whattayagonna do?

Refreshed,
Uncle Donnie

Mangiare Bene

Amici,
Happy New year to all of youse, wherever you are!
This is Uncle Donnies 60th New Years eve, and it is considerably
less enthralling than say his 21st, you know what I mean?
Whattayagonna do?
My trophy wife Betty just came into the room with a plate
of food; seafood, and veggies! Now I can't even concentrate!
Now she says the crab is yum! Now I'm done, got nothing else,
Food is good right? To all my family and friends...
mangiare bene. Eat well!
Ciao,
D.

Navigatin and Negotiatin

Hows it hangin,
 Me? I'm fine. Everything is as it should be. Besides  che cosa e fatto
e fatto, right? What's done is done! Can't change something that can't
be changed, I mean The Almighty is the only one what could change
an unchangeable thing, right? I'm fine with Him being able to do  such
a thing. You, me, we can't do that. It ain't in our skill set to do that, you
know what I mean. You, me, we ain't got the tools to do what the
Almighty can do. Pretty simple to me! Uncle Donnie tries to keep it simple,
and that seems to be the best way to navigotiate this life...questa nostra vita,
this life of ours. Navigotiate is Uncle Donnie for navigating and negotiating
important stuff. It's the combination of two 'ing' words to better express how
to handle a situation what needs to be handled, capisci mi. Things come up,
you gotta handle them, right? I mean if you don't handle things, these things
come back to handle you, and Uncle D. is a strong proponent of being a handler,
and not being one who is handled! Whattaya think I am, idiota?
The Almighty would have us be responsible and obedient in this thing.
Tiamo,
D.

Christmas Wishes

Merry Christmas Pallies,
   Five more days, right? Egg nog, gingerbread cookies, Christmas
music, family, friends, bourbon, Jesus, Joy, peace, laughter, Christmas
ham, bourbon, memories, you know what I mean? Did I mention bourbon?
These are a few of my favorite things...Thanks Julie Andrews!
Here is Uncle Donnies wish for all my Pallies; Be helpful to someone other
than your family. Serve everyone in your family,coz that's what Jesus would
have you do. Rejoice in the certainty of Gods care for you and yours, and
for that matter somebody else's too. Try to actually read all those yearly,
horrible Christmas letters, fuggetaboudit! And be thankful, and if you've
nothing to be thankful for then you got real problems, capisci mi?
Quit snorting cocaine and get rid of that crack pipe, ok!
And Have yourselves a merry little Christmas day!

Tiamo,
D

A Little Snooze

Ciao,
My trophy wife Betty and the Buggles are decorating for
Christmas and I just got up from a little snooze. Snoozes are
great but everytime I wake up a little disoriented, you know
what I mean? So now I'm writing and who knows what's
gonna come out of my mouth, I mean fingers, no I mean my brain!
Anyways hadda good time celebrating Buggles twentieth today, yeah,
we went to a little Cuban place and had lunch, and a few drinks, a few
laughs...it was nice. I mean who if they had the chance would pass up
some good food, drinks and laughs? After all life is made for such things,
right? Maybe Uncle D should work in Gods glory in that little formula,
but you unnastand what I'm trying to say. I mean it ain't that difficult to
figure out. So Friday night we had the first card game of Advent with our
friends the Woods, always fun, and Saturday night we had Angel Fudge
cake with the Shitzells(Uncle Donnies secondi daughter, husband Braindead,
and my granddaughter A.) Pretty good weekend so far and ho bisogno di
bere......I need a drink!
A Dopo
Uncle Donnie

Happy Belated Tanksgivin

HiYa Pallies,
 Hope everybody is doin well! Happy belated Tanksgivin, you know
what I mean. Uncle Donnie spent the holiday with Betty, my trophy wife,
and Hannah, my thirdling, at the coast. You know the coast, where the ocean is!
That coast, with the sand  and the waves and the clam chowder. Badabing! That's
the one. We hadda great time, and the weather was very warm for this time of
the season. Marone! I almost forgot. We took Moseby with us. Moseby is the
thirdlings new dog. His first excursion to the beach and a very successful one
at that. He's from Idaho, need I say more? French bulldog mostly with a smidge
terrier mixed in. O.K., he's gotta few issues, but a pretty good person for a
canine. Uncle D has only known Moseby for a coupla weeks, but I think he
fits in with the family, mi famiglia, capice!
Maybe I should start a new blog, writing from Mosebys perspective.
Fuggetaboudit! That might be more interesting than me, and I can't have
that.
Tiamo,
D

Risotto Pollo

How goes it my friends,
   Today we talk about risotto. That's what Uncle Donnie said, risotto!
I recently prepared a chicken risotto, which wassa so good. It takes about
twenty minutes to make it so you have to commit to it, for it to satisfy your
palate. I think that's how you spell it, palate. Not pellet. Like how could you satisfy
your pellet? Not pallet, like when Jesus told the cripple, take up your pallet and
walk! I mean how could you use this word for appetite? That's what I mean,
appetite. When you have an appetite for risotto, it's gotta be satisfied, capisci mi?
The right words go with the right things, right? That's what I thought in the first
place! This is about the time when my daughter usually tells me,"you're getting
old dad". Here's the thing, it's not that I'm old, it's just that I've been around for
a long time. It would be like calling someone who hasn't been around very long....
young. You know what I mean? Old is as old does, on account of, that's the way it is.
I also made some gravy, with sausage.
We ate it, whattayagonnado?
 See ya later,
Don

Io Sono Cosi Arrabbiato

How You Doin?
 So the other day, last Monday to be exact, remember details are so important,
I get this thought: What does ObamaCare, an IRS audit, and a prison term have
in common? That's easy says you! You're gonna get screwed in all three of em!
Ain't that the truth says me! Whattayagonnado? Uncle Donnie tries to be fair, but
this Affordable Care Act stuff  is un falso (a fake), I mean a huge freakin problem,
You know what I mean? My trophy wife Betty tells me  our health premiums are
gonna almost triple! That's right I said triple! Marone, now my health insurance costs
about as much or more than a second mortgage. Thanks Comrade Barack; thanks for
nothing! I mean fuhgettaboudit, this is really the Un-Affordable Care Act, right.....
I agree!
Io sono cosi arrabbiato ( I am so upset)
Don

E STATO UN PO'

HiYa Pallies,
  E stato un po' right! It means its been a long time; long time since we last
talked. I mean I do all the talking and youse do all the listening, but that's the
way Uncle D. prefers it , you know what I mean. I'm not saying you got nuttin
to say, I'm just saying I don't wanna hear it. There it is; good for youse and
good for me! Anyways, been almost a year and lotsa stuff has happened, some good
some bad, whattayagonna do? Mia moglie trofeo (my trophy wife Betty) is still as sweet
as ever, Buggles my former editor, and youngest daughter is almost twenty and
when I think about her age and how quick she got there it makes me pazzo completo,
Completely crazy. It is what it is. Marone, Uncle Donnie is now 60 years young, and
cooler than ever, I mean that's what  people say, right! I mean 60 is the new 40, so I
got that going for me. My grandkids are great, my older daughters and their husbands
are doin good, so all things considered, I can't complain.
Jack Daniels is been faithful, as usual, and so has Zaya. This is my new
Trinidadian Rum friend!
Rums the word!
Ciao,
Uncle Donnie

Its Not For Me To Say

 Hey Pallies,
Uncle D. has another Mathis tune for you.
Its Not For Me To Say
Its not for me to say, you love me
Its not for me to say you'll always care
Oh, but here for the moment, I can hold you fast
And press your lips to mine, and dream that love will last
As far  as I can see this is  heaven, and speaking just
for me its ours to share
Perhaps the glow of love will grow with every passing
day....or we may never meet again, but then....
Its not for me to say
Kind of in a Mathis mood, you know what  I mean?
Lately its been Mathis, Merlo, and Marinara, capisci mi?
Oh Yeah, and spumoni, right?
 Tiamo
D.

What Would It Profit A Man If........

"That blessed martyr Bersesius, see what a way he had to heaven for professing
the Christian religion. The persecutors came to him, and because he would not
deny the truth they struck all his body members out of joint; and when they had done that,
 they made wounds in all parts of his body. Then they brought iron combs that had been
sharpened, and so raked them upon his body that had been thus wounded; and when they
had done that, they laid him upon an iron grate, and with instruments of iron opened
those wounds. After that they melted hot burning salt, and strewed it upon those
wounds, and then they came with hot irons and seared him with those. After that they
dragged him by the heels into a dungeon where they prepared sharp shells, and there
he lay and perished."Here is one who went to heaven upon hard terms", you will say.
But God does not call you to do so, but merely to deny yourselves in some base lust,
in some sinful and ungodly way, in something that you may spare as easily as you
would the water out of your shoes, as we used to say."
From The World Is Not Worth A Single Soul, Jeremiah Burroughs.
Humbled,
Uncle Donnie

October Blurr

HiYa Pallies,
How is life treatin you? Good I hope. The thing is October has
been just one big blurr, you know what I mean. I mean whattayagonnado?
Lets Review:
Prostate cancer diagnosis....it is what it is!
Brand new granddaughter; she'saso beautiful, bella bambino.
New Church membership at a church whose Pastor guy reminds me
of Burt Reynolds; on my childrens grave....sometimes I'm thinkin the
sermon is from Smokey And The Bandit, you know what I mean?
At least the World Series was short, fuggetaboudit, what happened to
the Yankees(I mean losers).
Did I ever tell you Uncle Donnie loves peaches?
Jeremiah Burroughs rocks!
Ciao,
Uncle Donnie

Hold Your Nose And Vote For.........

Hey it's late September and I really should be back at school.Steal my daddys cue and make
a livin playin pool. Thanks to you Rodney Stewart. Uncle Donnie always kinda liked
Rodney Stewart, you know what I mean?
Gotta few things for your consideration. First thing is what are beets good for anyway. They
taste like dirt, am I right? You can take the beets outta the earth, but you can't take the earth
outta the beets! See where I'm goin here. Raw, cooked, boiled, anyway you have them
they always taste like dirt.
Second thing is this upcoming presidential thing, right? Well, my advice to you is to hold
your nose and vote for the Mormon, I mean the republican. Even with a name like Mitt, I
doubt he could catch a break here and win. I really don't want four more yrs. of comrade
Obama though, capisci mi?
Last thing is I heard about this young mother recently who tried to kill two birds with
one stone and attached a swiffer mop to her crawling crumb cruncher(read little one).
She figured she might as well get her floors done and exercise the little bambino,
whattayagonnado?

Ciao
D.

Move Like Jagger

Hey, how you doin?
Long time no see. Whattaya been doin with yourselves lately?
Me, I've been busy with this thing and that thing. You know what I mean?
Went to see my people on the east coast recently; you know family stuff,
grandkids,daughter, son-in-law, food. It was all good. Had some good arancini
in Cape Cod Mass.. Heard this story about how my grandaughter  is such
an efficient 'pooper'. Apparently, she gets in the bathroom and gets her business
done very quickly. Her dad was saying how he wished he could poop that  effeciently!
We all laughed at his telling the story but all I could think of was that Adam Levin
tune, I gotta move like Jagger.Uncle D bein who he is was hearing in his mind.....
I gotta poop like Lily, I gotta poop like Lily,oooooooo, poop like Lily.
Whattayagonnado
Probably gonna get some grief about this retelling.
Fuggetaboudit! Whats done is done. I can't take it back.
Anyways the chowdah and the lobstah was ahsome(read awesome).
Tiamo,
Uncle D.