Where does this stuff come from

So Uncle D. thinks he needs to branch out a little more, you know, become more
diverse. This economy being what it is, and revenue sources drying up, who knows?
Maybe it's time to start thinking about alternative schemes, I mean scams, I mean
new opportunities, you unnastand my meaning? Good! I thought you'd see it my way.
Sinatra was right, "I did it my way..."
Anyways, I'm thinkin' marketing is the answer.
Whattya marketing,Don? You might ask. Me! D. Uncle Donnie's name on tons of swag
(read: products),name familiarity, that's what I want, you know what I mean? A guy
goes into the drug store, say he might be havin' a little digestive problem, which
leads to another problem, and so he goes to get some UNCLE DONNIE'S HEMORRHOIDAL CREAM. Or maybe he needs some UNCLE DONNIE'S LAXATIVES or UNCLE DONNIE'S SUPPOSITORIES. Which might say on the package, "Hey, don't be a pain in the ass, take this stuff,it works..."
You know, just brainstormin' here, just tinkin' out loud. Howsabout this...
UNCLE DONNIE'S MAFIAPOLY, the new board game right?? Having fun with extortion,
women, and gamblin'...and if you'se pass GAS you collect 2 C-notes! If you accumulate
properties(in somebody else's name of course) you first put up a social club, instead
of a house, and then after that you put up casinos, and then your on your way, capisci?....The board would have to be five-sided though, to show some respect to
the five families, and you'd have to kick up some cash to the heads of the five,
just so you'se can keep playin....you'se unnastand?
I only have time for one more genius idea. Here goes, and its a beaut.....AN UNCLE
DONNIE CHIA PET! That's right, I mean you know you've arrived when they start makin' you into one of those, right? It's like...what's behind curtain number three Don Pardo??.... A brand new UNCLE DONNIE CHIA PET...just add Prosecco and a little anissette, and watch UNCLE DONNIE grow!
It's a beautful thing, right?
Sometimes, I surprise myself!

D.

Uncle D. recommends these next five movies:

Blood Feud....Hoffa and Kennedy
Perdition....Tom Hanks
Hoffa.....Jack Nicholson
The Sicilian...based on a Mario Puzo novel
Gotti...Armand Assante and Anthony Quinn