Don Whats His Name

Amici,
It is me, Don What's His Name; I'm back! It is me,for your service,
Uncle Donnie. Mi chiamo Donnie!
On my end all is good, may your end be as mine, botta bip botta boop,
if you know what I mean? Sinatra sang, That's Life, flyin high in April,
shot down in May. But I won't let it get me done, coz this world keeps spinnin round!
Things haven't changed much; hanging out with the same pallies, eating the same food and
pounding the same old drinks.....That's Life!
Just the other day my trophy wife Betty made a dish, Whatta Dish my wife is by the way,
she made Ziti Al Forno, baked Ziti! Do I have to tell you how delicioso it was?
Do I have to tell you how perfect the pasta was, how perfect the sauce, the cheeses, the spices?
It, says Uncle Donnie wassa so good ! We ate it, capisce!
On another note, I have been thinking lately how many Pastors I have known
who remind me of certain celebrities. Striking was the resemblance to Jerry Garcia was a guy who
was my Pastor for almost twenty years. Greatful Dead right? Lets just call him Dennis!
For the past three years our Pastor looked just like the guy from The Longest Yard, Burt Reynolds!
Deliverance right? Lets call him Mark! This next guy I swear to you reminds me of Michael Keaton!
Only been attending his church  for a month or so but every time I see this guy I'm thinkin
Mr. Mom or Johnny Dangerously. Its like I been goin to church at Graumans Chinese Theatre,
you know what I mean? We'll just refer to Him as Jeff.
Forty years ago Betty and I were married by a preacher who was the spittin image of Abraham
Lincoln. This guy, Dave. was a lot better volleyball player than Old Honest Abe was.
I guess he had that going for him!
All this writing is making me tired. It's probably time to hit the old fart sack(read go to bed)!

Sweet Dreams
Uncle D.

POPCORN REFILLS $3.00

Hey! How you doin?
 Are you as happy as I am that the Olympics are over?
What a waste of time, you know what I mean? My trophy wife
Betty and I watched maybe an hour of the whole thing, and I can't
even remember what events we watched. Getting poked in the eye with a sharp
stick woulda been more enjoyable than seeing anything from Russia!
I know it sounds like Uncle D. is bustin some balls here, but whats gotta be done,
has gotta be done. I mean I didn't make the rules, but I gotta enforce the rules.
I'm sure you unnastand.
On another note we went to the movies the other day. It was the new Costner
film, I can't even remember the title, Three days til something or other, I dunno.
The point is I noticed a sign in the lobby that said ....Popcorn refills $3.00!
I'm thinking, they charge about $8.00 for a bag of this stuff, and now to refill it is
another $3! Really, are you kiddin? Whatta racket this is! And I should know, right?
About rackets that is. I am convinced that the only reason they have
these theaters, right, is to sell popcorn and those $6.00 sodas. I run the numbers
in my head an figure that they could make more money if they let you in for free
and sell everyone who comes in these concessions at their current prices.
I love this country!
Your Welcome,
D.

R E F R E S H M E N T

Hi Ya Pallies,
Just got back from Scottsdale, down in the sun for awhile.
Went there with Mr. and Mrs. Woods and a coupla their  people.
Hadda great time. Got introduced to what they call a Tropical
Lemonade. Fuhggetaboudit, it was quite refreshing, and that's what
you need, when you need it, refreshment! The next time you need it,
get refreshed, Uncle D. really likes that word refreshment. Say it
with me ......r e f r e s h m e n t!
We also played a lot of cards down there. Did you ever notice that
vacation cards are always better than regular cards, just sayin.
Went to church down there and food carts were doin their thing
right on Church ground. It was like right after you get baptized you
go from the tank to get a corn dog or slice of pizza or something, you
know what I mean?
The weather was perfect, low to mid 70's, now I'm the weatherman
now, right? Swimmin, hottubbin, relaxin, whattayagonna do?

Refreshed,
Uncle Donnie

Mangiare Bene

Amici,
Happy New year to all of youse, wherever you are!
This is Uncle Donnies 60th New Years eve, and it is considerably
less enthralling than say his 21st, you know what I mean?
Whattayagonna do?
My trophy wife Betty just came into the room with a plate
of food; seafood, and veggies! Now I can't even concentrate!
Now she says the crab is yum! Now I'm done, got nothing else,
Food is good right? To all my family and friends...
mangiare bene. Eat well!
Ciao,
D.

Navigatin and Negotiatin

Hows it hangin,
 Me? I'm fine. Everything is as it should be. Besides  che cosa e fatto
e fatto, right? What's done is done! Can't change something that can't
be changed, I mean The Almighty is the only one what could change
an unchangeable thing, right? I'm fine with Him being able to do  such
a thing. You, me, we can't do that. It ain't in our skill set to do that, you
know what I mean. You, me, we ain't got the tools to do what the
Almighty can do. Pretty simple to me! Uncle Donnie tries to keep it simple,
and that seems to be the best way to navigotiate this life...questa nostra vita,
this life of ours. Navigotiate is Uncle Donnie for navigating and negotiating
important stuff. It's the combination of two 'ing' words to better express how
to handle a situation what needs to be handled, capisci mi. Things come up,
you gotta handle them, right? I mean if you don't handle things, these things
come back to handle you, and Uncle D. is a strong proponent of being a handler,
and not being one who is handled! Whattaya think I am, idiota?
The Almighty would have us be responsible and obedient in this thing.
Tiamo,
D.

Christmas Wishes

Merry Christmas Pallies,
   Five more days, right? Egg nog, gingerbread cookies, Christmas
music, family, friends, bourbon, Jesus, Joy, peace, laughter, Christmas
ham, bourbon, memories, you know what I mean? Did I mention bourbon?
These are a few of my favorite things...Thanks Julie Andrews!
Here is Uncle Donnies wish for all my Pallies; Be helpful to someone other
than your family. Serve everyone in your family,coz that's what Jesus would
have you do. Rejoice in the certainty of Gods care for you and yours, and
for that matter somebody else's too. Try to actually read all those yearly,
horrible Christmas letters, fuggetaboudit! And be thankful, and if you've
nothing to be thankful for then you got real problems, capisci mi?
Quit snorting cocaine and get rid of that crack pipe, ok!
And Have yourselves a merry little Christmas day!

Tiamo,
D

A Little Snooze

Ciao,
My trophy wife Betty and the Buggles are decorating for
Christmas and I just got up from a little snooze. Snoozes are
great but everytime I wake up a little disoriented, you know
what I mean? So now I'm writing and who knows what's
gonna come out of my mouth, I mean fingers, no I mean my brain!
Anyways hadda good time celebrating Buggles twentieth today, yeah,
we went to a little Cuban place and had lunch, and a few drinks, a few
laughs...it was nice. I mean who if they had the chance would pass up
some good food, drinks and laughs? After all life is made for such things,
right? Maybe Uncle D should work in Gods glory in that little formula,
but you unnastand what I'm trying to say. I mean it ain't that difficult to
figure out. So Friday night we had the first card game of Advent with our
friends the Woods, always fun, and Saturday night we had Angel Fudge
cake with the Shitzells(Uncle Donnies secondi daughter, husband Braindead,
and my granddaughter A.) Pretty good weekend so far and ho bisogno di
bere......I need a drink!
A Dopo
Uncle Donnie